Riding the Rails of Uncertainty: What a Subway Trip Taught Me About Being a Whistleblower
Riding the Rails of Uncertainty: What a Subway Trip Taught Me About Being a Whistleblower
Facing an uncertain future, one whistleblower contemplates sacrifice, survival, and the power of truth.
Not long ago I had the opportunity to visit DC. I love to travel and these days I rarely manage to arrange time away. So it was a genuine treat and respite from the cyclone of uncertainty I’ve experienced since leaving the University of Tennessee’s Mental Health Counseling Masters Program and blowing the whistle on psychology professions.
I set aside time to visit quieter parts of the Smithsonian, and I tapped into the wisdom of my thrifty New England ancestors to find ways to make it work even with my frayed shoestring budget. One of my cost-saving measures was to park at a distance and use the subway.
Like other liminal spaces, subways and their stations can be great places to reflect. I happen to like the eerie off-kilter feeling one gets in such places. While there is a heightened sense of uncertainty on one hand, I find there is a huge feeling of possibility on the other. Especially in any transport station, the sensation that you could go anywhere is inescapable.
We all have choices that we make. Each one is a trade-off to another life we might have had. To be a whistleblower is no small exchange. With responsibilities to manage, school debt I don’t know what I’m going to do about, and no clear pathway to career or financial stability it can be scary at times.
At the same time, when I look back at history and the gut-wrenching choices generations before us had to make, I feel foolish and entitled. Why should any of us think we might float through life without making significant sacrifices?
I shudder to imagine women raising children in times of famine, forced to choose which of them to feed. When Christianity swept through the Roman Empire, many people gave up everything they had for what they believed, including family relationships, status, and their lives. Would I have survived a life where I saw my daughters sold off because that was the only future available to girls? We live in very lucky times, in a very sheltered place.
Because of that, I tend to think our current situation won’t come to anything so desperate. Though it is hard to know the future. I also never expected my Buddhist practice would become a point of controversy when I went back to school for a counseling degree.
And like so I have circled back to where I started.
Now that I know psychology and its related fields have been overtaken by an ideology that encourages people to consider their Whiteness as the outward indicator they are inherently racist, and labels individuals as white supremacists strictly based on skin color, the choice is to pretend I don’t know or do something about it. I was ready to be a counselor because I didn’t want to pretend anymore.
As I rode along in the subway it struck me what a marvel it was, a huge train that ran deep underground, clanking and screaming down the tracks day after day with an admirable amount of up-time. The level of engineering required to make that possible is mind-boggling. I felt so fortunate to be able to enjoy a ride, it almost didn’t matter where the train stopped.
About
Diogenes in Exile began after I returned to grad school to pursue a degree in Clinical Mental Health Counseling at the University of Tennessee. What I encountered, however, was a program deeply entrenched in Critical Theories ideology. During my time there, I experienced significant resistance, particularly for my Buddhist practice, which was labeled as invalidating to other identities. After careful reflection, I chose to leave the program, believing the curriculum being taught would ultimately harm clients and lead to unethical practices in the field.
Since then, I’ve dedicated myself to investigating, writing, and speaking out about the troubling direction of psychology, higher education, and other institutions that seem to have lost their way. When I’m not working on these issues, you’ll find me in the garden, creating art, walking my dog, or guiding my kids toward adulthood.
You can also find my work at Minding the Campus
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